My first day at New Job.

-I have an office. Well kind of. It’s more than a cube but not enough to be an office. I’m just going to consider it an office.

-We have an intern and I am allowed to give him as much work as I want. I get to boss around a boy and get paid for it.

-I need to learn how to participate in small talk in corporate settings. It has always been a weakness of mine. I was raised to believe that work and personal life are two very distinctively different things that should always be separated. Apparently the rest of the world doesn’t share this ideology. I’ve never been one to hang out with coworkers post work hours.

-I am scared of fax machines. I’ve always felt like there was something shady about fax machines.

-All I can think about is next Friday which is when I head to NYC to see my stupid dude. 5 weeks guys. These last 5 weeks have been PAINFUL.
I realize this last bullet has nothing to do with my new job but I really really really miss the guy. I’ll probably roll around my bedroom floor whining “I meeeeeeeeeesh him” after I finish up this post. Seriously, who am I??
No shame y’all. No shame.

Oversharing on the interwebs…

Oh my goodness. I’m sitting at a Starbucks in front of my Macbook writing a regular post because I have time!

Well I have some time so I’ll just do a quick update in bullets:

• It’s really hot in DC. Hot and Humid. I went through this last year but I think my mind blocked out any memory of how disgusting that summer was weather wise and I’m experiencing some major shock. I don’t know how I’m going to survive. I feel disgusting. Also, everyone smells bad all the time. Perfume, cologne, and deodorant folks. Let’s get on it mmkay?
• I currently hate my hair. Yes, this is a bullet worthy update. I recently got it cut from a very high end salon that was recommended to me by a trustworthy friend. To be fair, I think it’s the combination of it being a little shorter than I expected and the fact that it’s super hot and humid which is leaving me clueless as to how to tame my damn mane. When your hair is freakishly long, it can be a wavy mess and it’s okay.  When it’s medium length with slight side sweep bangs (btw, I can’t don’t understand bangs) trying to manage your hair every morning in this climate is like fighting a never ending battle. I spend most of my morning yelling at the mirror and rolling around my floor pulling at my hair and screaming “WHHHHHY”. Okay, maybe I don’t do that because that’s how I feel inside you guys. That’s how I feel.
• I have a new job! I haven’t told my current employer about this and am sitting at Starbucks trying to figure out how to nicely break it to her that I might be leaving in two weeks. As I mentioned, many of my coworkers are over educated. Many of them are either working at the bookstore because they are musicians who need extra income or because they haven’t been able to land a job yet in the real world because their master degree(s) are super specific and somewhat peculiar. But one by one they are being swept up by “real jobs” and putting in their two weeks. And it’s not just us, it’s our managers too. Seriously, DC job market must be booming. So my boss, the big boss.. I imagine she’s a little stressed out having all her best employees leave one right after the other and I know it shouldn’t matter but I really respect and have come to care for her and I know telling her that I plan to leave is going to make her even more stressed than I want her to be. Plus, being able to read books for free is a perk that to me is like winning the lottery. I don’t know if I can give that up.
• Speaking of bosses, I’m a little concerned because the more I speak to my new boss the more I’m gathering that she’s a little weird. I’m also scared of re-entering the corporate environment again. It’s been a while since I’ve been in a non casual work setting. It’s been even longer since I’ve worked with women in a corporate non casual setting. Women scare me because I know women can be bad ass bitches that expect a lot from other women. I am so bad a being a woman. I’ve sucked at it since I was born. I am just so better at being a girl.
• I haven’t seen my boyfriend since May 4th-ish. It’ll be another couple weeks until our next visit. If I had to be honest, things have been pretty easy and great up until now. In the last couple weeks our conversations have become a lot more serious and I’ve had to come to terms with some realities I rather not face. Scotch hasn’t done anything douchey to break my heart or anything.. it’s more about timing and how we live in different states and are at somewhat different places in life. We’re entering that stage where love becomes more about decisions rather than fluffy feelings. I might have to start catering my future to revolve around his.. How do I do that? And is that right? And is it fair? Ugh, questions.. I also miss him. I miss him like a fat kid on a diet misses carbs. I feel like in the last couple months I’ve had to grow up so fast. What is up with all these adult issues? Wait a minute, I thought I was 21 years old? 25? Whaaaat?
• Um… I’m turning 26 on July 3rd .. I..just…can’t.
• On a more positive note: New friendships have formed and old ones strengthen. Some friends are about to jet off to Africa/Europe for 6 months while others are returning from long stints working out in California and other various parts of the world. This summer is about major change and I’m very excited to see what comes from it all. Hopefully I’ll be writing about it all on here instead of posting stupid picture of what I wore today. We’ll see what happens.

BTW, have any questions or comments? Send them my way!

So people have sent me messages inquiring about what I do right now.

Well, I’m kind of a student and I work at a bookstore.
Before this, right before I moved to DC from Chicago, I worked for a proprietary trading firm doing entry level stuff and even some trading (using programs, it was very safe and nerdy). I was totally under-qualified for it and got the job through an acquaintance and it was awesome. It was super challenging and exciting and I loved my coworkers who all happen to be young 30 something year old men.
Then personal stuff happened and I also realized I need to go back to school and figure out what I have the potential to do career wise etc. then moved here (DC) where my parents live and where all the jobs are.
It’s been a rough transition. I’ve actually hated it. Also, given that I’m taking classes (learning what I love this time around) and that my educational advancement is my prime priority, it was hard finding a real job again that could fit my new life. So I stumbled into a book store one day and got a job.
So for a while now I’ve been selling books and also picking up random shifts as a barista.
It’s been interesting. It’s hard to go back into retail but I got lucky. I’m the only one amongst my coworkers who doesn’t have a graduate degree. I essentially work with nerds for nerds. I work with people who love to write and read for people who love to write and read. Its like an intellectual playground.
But at the end of the day its retail which can be rough for someone in their mid twenties living in one of the most pretentious overachieving cities in our country. There was that one time I was working and a former friend from Chicago (if I can call her that) walked into the store and totally felt sorry for me. Ugh snooty batch.

And now I’m finally leaving. The interview went well and I think I can say that I got the job.
I have mixed feelings about this. I’m excited and thankful. This position is super convenient and pays more but I’m scared of returning to grown up life. With real responsibilities. Also this is the first time I’m working for mostly women. That intimidates me.
And I’m sad to say goodbye to the book store. I’m sad to say goodbye to our regular customers and I’m mostly sad to say goodbye to possibly the best boss I’ve ever had.

It’s funny that right now I feel lucky for the first time in my life in 4 years and it’s not because I got a new job. It’s all because in this moment I’m realizing how lucky I was to have had a job where I genuinely loved the people I worked for/with. To have had the kind of boss who reminded me everyday of my potential both as a professional and a human being. To have had the chance to work in a freakin bookstore and a barista. Around coffee and books.

Do what you love people.
Be happy.

I don’t know what the point of this post is.

Thanks to those who sent encouraging notes/messages of support. It never ceases to amaze me that I have fellow bloggers out there who actually follow me and that go out of their way to encourage me.
Blogging is awesome.

Ok bye.

Ps. I wrote this entire post on my iPhone so excuse any typos/spelling errors. Autocorrect and this keyboard, they are my enemies.

I have a real people job interview at 12 today.
This opportunity fell into my lap by chance.

I think I’m happy. I think.
No, I’m scared.
I’m scared of getting my hopes up.

Good things like this just doesn’t happen to me. Struggling and settling has become kind of a fact of life for me.

But who knows?
I’m scared ya’ll. I’m scared. Scared to want this.

Keeping my fingers crossed.
-J

Regretting my haircut big time.
Will be eating seaweed everyday until my hair reaches a good length again.

Does seaweed initiate hair growth? Im not sure. But I’m just going to say yes and do this.

So damn humid in DC today.
I will never get used to this humidity. I don’t understand it.
How does one dress for such hot and humid weather?

Answer: you don’t.
You hide inside your air conditioned apartment until October.
Which is what my game plan is as of right now.